*glomp*
i am tired.
very tired.
i am wagging youth group.
and so instead the computer is my friend tonight.
i want to be an extrovert, but the introvert in me is screaming for some time.
i should go for a walk while its still light, but i wont. i am too tired for that.
i want to throttle the intorvert and tell it that soon it will have a long time to be introvertedness.
we had our formal last night.
aside from not doing one of my assignments yesterday, and procrastinating, they both got done and handed in today. but thats getting ahead of myself.
finished my new testament bible study yesterday.
my mind was going everywhere.
i just needed some distraction from homework, from boys, from friends, from the end. and so i went for a walk.
my usual walk ruitine where i just marvel at the beauty of creation filled my mind at first. then i tried to clear my thoughts.
i had a conversation with God.
well, conversation might be the wrong word. i was walking down the road crying. i was asking for help. for him to somehow get through me and help me. i asked him how i could properly surrender.
trust and surrender. how hard they are for me.
and so i came back from my walk, and it just started to rain when i got home.
and then it rained, and rained and rained. i was procrastinating.
had my make up done. did my nails, showed april the dress, got some jewelry, and procrastinated a little more.
got a call from bec about a lift down to her house. i declined.
when i did go down to her house the bottoms of my jeans got soaked. there was a river running down the gravel path. lucky i had my sisters umbrella, or my mascara would have run... a lot...
got to becs house and got ready.
some how these things are always more fun with other people.
the drive there was wet, and very beautiful.
in fact, diamond creek, kangaroo ground area is very beautiful.
aside from my worries that my dress would fall down (yay for strapless things..) everything was alright.
i lost my shoes very quickly. i like bare feet, theirs something nice about having a true connection with the ground.
entre, talk, awards, dinner, talk, dance, awards, dessert, dance, talk, leave. thats basically how the evening panned out.
everyone looked stunning. some more so than others, becuase their transformation from ordinary person into sexy, dressed, dolled up person was larger than others.
some people looked just as gorgeous as usual.
i got affectionate by the end of the night. i was happy and tired. i was hugging people left right an centre. maybe the fact that after thursday i might never see them again was adding to that mood, but hey.
danced a lot. not as much as some people, but more than others. went crazy with Nat (Samalie of the Nat variety) to Dancing Queen, as we are the only two 17 year olds left in YITS. she is 2 months and 2 days younger than me, or something like that.
i miss Nat already. perhaps i feel a closer connection to her than some others. i dont know why, but i do. similar life experiences perhaps. aside from the fact shes gorgeous (red orange hair, and brown eyes.. what better comination!), shes smart (as in, she knows A LOT), shes talented (can anyone say cello?) and shes just plain wonderful. nice, huggable, very lovely.
she is one person i am going to make an effort to catch up with. shes my Samalie. we have to catch up, so we can be cleaved..
the car ride home was interesting. i dont know what was wrong with jess. she was stressed, she was tired, she was cold. and she had to drive home, and i dont think she really wanted to. she started crying... she was speeding. something unnatural for her.
got home, and practially fell into bed. sleep took over me. i had enough time to wash some of my make up off and brush my teeth. and then i was out.
and yes bec, i remember i did dream. i cant remember what it was about, but i do know that i did.
argh. to avoid a boring details blog, i'll give it to you simple. today finished youth min assignment. caught the bus. missed the other bus. walked half way, got picked up. went back to eastland, found some bathers for bec. caught bus, went to kids klub, came home...
slightly less introvert feeling now...
i have missed talking to gush friends.
i want to glomp someone....
