Long Blog Part 3, Life without the Net
when i arrived home, i had to go to bed. i was working in the morning. i didnt sleep much, but then again, before work i never do.
work was normal.
i got home and slept for a couple of hours. i hung out my washing, and while standing there, hanging up a pair of jeans i hear becs voice. apparently iain and dawn were waiting in the car outside, and she wanted to know if i wanted to come down and see them. i did. but i decided it would probably be prudent to finish hanging up my clothes, and to get changed out of my pj's. bec agreed.
so i made my way down there and had a wonderful afternoon at becs house with dawn and iain. after iain and dawn left, bec and i lay in the hammock and just talked. job was being noisey.
i stayed for dinner and came home when it got dark. the internet still wasnt working, so i sat on my bed and read. i actually started reading isaiah. i was flicking through my bible and i realised that i had never really read isaiah, so i started.
thursday i went into the city to meet up with burkie, and to give him PhotoShop CS2, the whole adobe package, not just PS.
we sat by the yarra and talked. it was nice.
when i was on the train home i got this extreemly sad feeling overwhelm me, and i almost cried. it was here, in this mood, that i saw some graffiti on the wall. "happiness is in your kindness". that made me smile, but i still wanted to cry.
work friday morning. i saw marty from seville IGA, cause he only works on fridays. it was a little uncomfortable at the start, but i soon got over that.
home after work included sleep. the internet still wasnt working, and i was getting a little annoyed. i was getting a little lonely too.
saturday i got up early. got dropped off to the station, and caught the train into the city. i bumped into two people i knew on the train, and talked with them on my way in. both girls. both from school. one was going to the tennis, the other was going with her friend to a tafe open day, enrolment thingy.
i arrived at spencer street, early as usual, and was nervous. the same nerves that plague me when ever i meet someone. even though i had met him before, they will still present.
i sat on a seat overlooking the train platforms and read my MX. he arrived.
what followed was a brilliant day. sat by the yarra for a bit. decided we would go see a movie, so walked to melbourne central, decided that there were no good movies on when we could see them, so we had lunch instead.
i havent eaten macdonalds food in a very long time, and i was glad that the coke didnt make me hiccup, like it usualy did.
we then walked to the exhibition gardens and lay under a tree, in the soft green grass, out of the sun, for the rest of the afternoon. the ground was dirty, and made my white skirt dirty, but i didnt care too much. i cant remember too much of what we talked about, but the time dissapeared quickly. it was hot, and i was sweaty, but neither of us cared.
we slowly made our way back to the station, sticking in the shadows. he bought his ticket, and we waited. it was an hour before his train came in. i decided that i wanted a slurpey. so we walked around until we could find a 7/11. i kept on bumping into him, deliberatly. i just wanted to be close.
we got slurpeys, and made our way back to the station.
sitting, waiting for his train, his arm around me, me almost falling asleep. it was nice feeling loved. the hug goodbye didnt want to end. but it had to.
i went to my platform, and discovered that my train had been delayed. i was slightly annoyed, seeming as i was going out that night. so after a whole bunch of frantic messages to people, mainly my dad, i realised that i would probably just be late for the party and that i should get over it and try and relax. dad was going to pick me up from lilydale and take me to the party.
it was jess (of the yits wyngaard)'s mums 50th, and i was going.
the train ride home gave me time to think. i.. i dont know how i feel about him... its.. its hard to explain...
anyway. the party that night was good. jess has rather a nice family, and the food was delicious! and even though it was rather hot, and sweaty, i didnt mind too much.
i sat and talked with bec all night. and iain joined us towards the end. a lot of talking about guys. i was reluctant to tell bec what happened that day. she said she just didnt want me to do something i would regret.
it was hot that night, and i didnt sleep much. church was alright. daniel was back. i like dan. hes the youngest child of the guy im working for. his brother is practically going out with my sister. and their all friends. but i like dan the best. dont know why, just do.
anyway. walked home from church. it was hot. it was going to be 45 or so degrees that day. and the house was nice and cool. well, cooler than the already soaring temperature outside.
had chicken and salad for lunch. dave and pearl went to the river to swim, and i stayed home.
bec called at about 2ish and asked if i wanted to do something. we went up to morrisons, but it wasnt much cooler in there. had iced coffee though. bought more phone credit, and went back to becs house. it was boiling in there. bec was amusing me rather a lot, complaining about the heat a lot. actually, i didnt think it was that hot, atleast there was wind, even if it was a northerly and hot.
stayed around becs house, had dinner there and then walked home.
tried to get some form of sleep, but couldnt, so just ended up messaging people until i had to get up for work. thankyou john, thankyou clay.
monday was boring enough. messaged clay an awful late while at work.
tuesday, on the otherhad was incredibly lonely. i was home alone. pearl had gone to camp, and i was left by myself. my extraversion was craving people. i watched amelie (which i had bought on saturday). and then i got even lonlier. i swept. i vacuumed, i dusted. i even cleaned my path out the front, and out the back. this kept me busy, however it was just my body that was busy. my mind had a lot of time to think. i really just wanted my internet back. like, really.
so i messaged tony (aprils ex boyfriend) when dad got home. he said he was going to come around the next day.
i went to bed early again, work wednesday morning again. it was brilliantly cold when i woke up. however, i didnt want to be awake. it was one of those nights where you just want to keep sleeping becuase its warm in bed, and cold out of it.
i had a wonderful text message conversation with john until he decided he was going to try and get some sleep.
i got home, slept blissfully for two hours, got up and read. i waited until tony came, and he tried to find out the problem. it wasnt the modem, it wasnt that the net had been cut. it was the password.
bec phoned and asked what i was doing, and i told her to come up. so all of a sudden my house went from being just me and very lonely, to having people around and having the net back. i was happy. i was content.
i made dinner. i haddnt cooked in ages, and was glad that it didnt turn out too bad. chillie concarne, with out the beans, and tomatoes. i kinda just made something up, and covered it in cheese.
both tony and bec stayed for dinner. tony left a little bit after that, and i walked around my yard with bec, pointing out random stuff to her. she then left, and i went on the computer.
he signed on, and we sort of had a serious conversation. we both dont know how we feel about each other. and he knows my predicement, and that it would be hard...
anyway... im back online, and im happy...
