This mould im in
the past two days have been hectic...
went out yesterday with best friend jess. she had her mums car for the day. april decided to tag along, but that was alright. gave someone else for jess to talk at... we drove over to knox and the first place we went was to get boost's, and then to baby co... i think jess is pretty much resigned to the fact shes pregnent. the father is annoying but i can also semi understand where hes coming from too. but lets not be choosing sides. cause if i have to it will be jess's. i mean, shes my best friend.
anyway. we walked around a bit. didnt buy anything, then decided we were going to go see a movie. now, i wanted to be home at 3 so i could figure out what was happening last night. we went to see king kong. the 1pm session. after we're sitting in there april leans over and says "oh yeah, this movie goes for like 3 hours or something". i was like "ahh!"
the movie was alright. i laughed through all of the scarey bits cause they were funny.
we ended up leaving the movie before it ended. to get me home before 4:30. i got home at 4:30, a lot thanks to jess's speeding (but shh, dont tell). frantically phoned bec to see what was happening, found out jess (different jess. yits driver jess) was picking us up. i packed my bags with skill, having done it several times now. dont need much.
and stood out the front. i couldnt breath properly. the fact that i haddnt really eaten anything at all that day might have contributed to that. i was standing trying to breath deep and fill my lungs but all it felt like i was doing was trying to hyperventilate. jess arived just as i felt like i was going to faint, so i fell into her (messy) car and we were on our way.
my hands were semi shaking. i needed food...
got to eastland and bec found out that she had to work the next day (9-3). dave and kat found us in dymocks and then we went to the food court where we were supposed to be meeting people at 5:30. we were late...
dinner consisted of KFC (i tell you, its stalking me! it was even in my dream this morning!) and the meat from lexiesdinner which made me feel a little ill after eating...
after 2 and a half hours at eastland, mainly sitting and talking, we left to go to jess's house.
french films were the go. though we ended up watching the very first episode of ALIAS while the guys where there. i remember most of what happened, me being one of those people who watched the first series religiously. (i kinda stopped becuase of night clashes... i had stuff on when it was on.)
then we watched Love me if you Dare. a lovely french film about these two kids who dare each other to do stuff. sophie and julien. they grow up, and are in love with each other but dont get together for various reasons. the ending is trippy... and makes you question what actually happens in the movie.
several of those present left after this movie. the guys and elle. we all got our beds ready.
it seemed that bec and i would be sharing a bed again. the sofa bed... but that was alright... she didnt kick last time and stayed to her side...
anyway, and then we watched A Very Long Engagement. a long and sadish movie. set in WW1, or just after. france, again. a woman is looking for her fiance after the war, and trying to see if hes still alive.
surpisingly it didnt make me cry...
after the movie ended we decided it would be prudent to go to sleep, as we were gojng to watch Amalie, but bec had to get up in 5 hours, and the rest fo us were tired too.
lying in bed and talking with bec.
she said to me "you know sam, with all your talking about guys, i dont think your ready"
i turned and looked at her and said something along the lines of if she was telling me to be patient?
she said no, more that i had to get my relationship with God sorted out.
that made me think.
(and then lexie, who was in the bathroom said "he's overrated!"
that made bec and i laugh. she wasnt talking to us, but to the other two girls in jess's room who were talking about someone or other.
bec also made me laugh by pointing out some wood grain which looked like a small dogs face and by saying "bother" to me before sleeping.
she couldnt get comfy and moved around a lot... the girls in the other room were talking loudly, about movies and christians and something else.
i zoned out and went to sleep.
woke up this morning to becs alarm going off. she had to get up for work. my morning personness was only half awake this morning. and after bec left i fell asleep again.
i drempt. KFC was in my dream, and so were old school people... and lillydale lake.
jess was gone this morning when i got up. kat left shortly after. lexie dropped me off at the station. caught the train to lilydale and then the bus.
talked to a girl who was waiting for the bus with me. she was nice, lived in mount ev, and is moving to queensland with her mum in 5 days.
i think, with all of my insisting that im a talker, i dont think i am that much. i cant carry a conversation by myself. i would feel too selfish or something...
and then when i came home, after watching scrubs waiting to get on the compy, clay asked me what i wanted to accheive today. what do i want to accheive today? should probably go sort stuff out with God.. stop being so selfish and taking my faith for granted.. ha! faith... do i have it? yes. i do. underneath all of this lazyness or indifference or whatever it is, i know there is something in there wanting me to break out of this mould i am in...
and i also had a conversation with a certian person, basically saying that what happened the other night couldnt happen again...
and so here you go. a blog, in under an hour... fun :)
