blog up...
i think i have figured out what it is...
when im tired i stop trying to escape from life... or perhaps, i try to escape from life even more through the outlet of guys...
i wasnt going to come on here and blog about guys, cause that seems to be a lot of what the past couple of posts are... i am trying very hard to gain control over my emotions, and said person.. err.. mr green is confusing me... but thats another story...
third market today... was busy and had more orders than the past two. i floundered around for an hour or two (more on the two) looking like i was doing something until Stan got back from ordering and paying for, and some picking up of orders.
it rained a lot! and i mean A LOT! im glad i was under cover...
market is really alive at 2:30 am onwards. its like a psuedo day. the lights are bright, people are moving, things are happening. if i didnt have to do work, or look like im doing work, i would love to just sit and watch the people.
market is nearly a totally male dominated work place. going around on wednesday with Stan i got many people, guys, staring at me... and today was no different, and i was just sitting by the truck.
a lot of time by myself makes me think as well, and its not helpful when all you want to think about is guys, but know that it will only make matters worse to over analyse things.
we were almost ready to go, i was sitting in the truck, and what would drive past, just when i was trying not to think about mr green, a truck that had his name (not his whole name... just part) on it..
then, shortly after we left and were on the eastern freeway Stan was telling me about a Mrs Green who he used to know..
i laughed at my over analysation... perhaps God strings things together for Bec, but i dont think he does for me...
got to eastfields, one of the delivery shops, and cute guy was there again. he looks young, maybe early 17, but i do know that looks are decieving... he is rather nice and very chipper for 7ish in the morning... i got a very big "good morning"... i like working with extroverts...
normal big breakfast, which i was actually craving... hetty (stans wife) likes cooking.. and this morning i got the usual 4 peices of toast with bacon and eggs! perhaps this is me being forced to have breakfast.. being follows doing right...? bleh...
anyway, more deliveries, more random conversations with Stan about things.. he likes to talk... and had a nice convo with a lady at village greens (one of the places out in launching place), and a guy from seville IGA...
got home, had a shower, and am now sitting here in my towel, my hair falling out onto the keyboard, and i just got reminded of mr green again... *sighs*
im going to jess's this afternoon sometime, i dont know when she finishes work though... and i dont forsee getting much sleep tonight...
this money is burning a hole in my pocket, but i know it wont last... i cant do this market thing for a long period of time, i think i would cry....
thinking about doing something for my birthday... probably should... my house isnt very entertaining or fun... or big... next sundays out, too soon.. perhaps the sunday or saturday.. the 10th or 11th?
maybe...
