of wet pants and too much sugar...

i opened this page over an hour ago, and yet i still havent written anything more than the title. my thought patterns have been flittering around, but have had a sad undertone. because he isnt here, and im not there. slowly the letter i am writing to him is being added to, and i always feel a little childish blogging about everything.

he phoned me last night, and we talked for 30 minutes. somehow it didnt seem that long. it was nice to hear him talk again, even if he does sound different on the phone. there are definate things we need to work on, and talk about. i know this, and so does he. it still seems so weird. a nice kind of weird. one lovely lady described it as, life goes on, but somehow everything seems so different. there is this little nugget inside me glowing, that brings a smile to my lips when i think of him, even while it is surrounded by the sadness of the distance.

it is surrounded my own fears and issues too. i am going against the very thing i have always done. i am praying for strength and courage. and the ability to be able to be honest and open with him, about all aspects of my life. i am struggleing with trying to be brave. i love him...

i need to tell my father, but am unsure of how to do so. somehow, there is this part of me that says its not important to tell him. but yet i know i do need to. i want to be approaching this the right way, and, even though i may not like it, i do want his approval, and i guess support (in a way). i dont want to make the same mistakes my parents made.

somehow this post has deviated from what i was going to talk about. being my day. which i spent waking up, sitting around online, seeing if my uni results were out yet (nope. they come out tomorrow. i think i failed psych. oops), and then going to go see ana in lilydale. i have had far too much sugar today, and am feeling sick as a result. it was good to see ana again. :). we went into the bible society book shop, and i bought myself a book. and later found, in an op shop, 'i heard the owl call my name', which i also bought.

im working tomorrow again. and its currently raining. i hope it stops before i have to get up. working in the rain is rather unpleasant, particulary when its cold, and at night.

i had a conversation with someone who is long distance dating, asking about how she does it. and it reassured me. the fact that there are people who are doing this shows that it can, indeed, be done.


oh, and i was walking around the house before, and felt a bit weird. i realised that maybe it was because i haddnt prayed, or read my bible, or anything. i really need to keep seeking to put God first. in every aspect of my life.
oh, and im reading deuteronomy at the moment... interesting book, and one that i havent spent too much time in.

6:04 pm | Permalink