...

i think ive figured something out.

i dont thrive under pressure, or under challenges.
no, they terrify me.

i hate them.

i feel overwhelmed. i dont know how to describe the feeling. like a cold hand gripping my heart and stopping me from feeling, functioning.

i wondered for a while if i was demon possesed. that the devil was getting to me and doing this. but then i just told myself that it was me. my stupid fears.

i have always been like this.
this not being able to concentrate when things get... get... i dont know how to explain it really.
i remember never wanting to talk on the phone becuase i was afraid.

i hate this
i hate this...


maybe its just me being emotional, hormones and the like.
but i really hate this. i just want to cry. to hide in bed and cry...



this is horrible....

10:38 pm | Permalink