wanted-ness

mmm... im back from Jess's house. had a good time, always seem to. went into the city on friday. was a very spontanuos thing to do. didnt see anyone we knew... suprisingly, as much as im not a fan of a lot of people and the city, i actually enjoy going into the city., should do it more often....

anyway.. came home and it was pouring. travelling from Jess's house in Ferntree Gully to my house in Mt Evelyn is not very direct. but i like catching public transport. how weird is that.

and yet again my thoughts turned to relationships.
heres what i wrote...

i get so annoyed at myself when i start thinking about relationships, about wanting one. why? wanting to be loved, to be held in strong arms and be kissed is only natural. yet why does it seem that all i ever do is fight against it? fight against liking someone.

do i still seriously think that i dont deserve one, that i wont pass the test, that on one will want me?
sometimes i really do.
when will my turn come? trust God i say, patience i say. so much easier to say than to do...

i just want to be wanted... is that so bad?

7:30 pm | Permalink