wednesday interesting

yesterday was an interesting one for me. the day was relativly borning.

dave, i think for me the person i would regret not knowing the most is Jane.

i got annoyed yesterday. well, last night. this is what i wrote in my art journal at the time...
"annoyed at.. people who you try and talk with, but then they blow you off to talk with other people. this leaves me feeling unworthy. there is one main person like this at YITS. so now i dont even try. he is one i would deem a "popular" person. perhaps in my mind he has enough friends, and im not cool enough to be one of them. ive given up."
i dont know if i was legitametly annoyed at him, or whether i just wanted to be aggrivated at some one. perhaps a bit of both. i dont try to make friends with popular people. they have enough friends.
"this is crazy. i hate it when other people make me feel worthless, that im not even important enough to speak to" (my journal)
Bec and Nat gave me some advice. some very un-Sam like advice to talk with him about it. mm.. perhaps i will continue to try to talk with him, even if it is just to prove to myself that he is a popular person.

saying that. i had a dream about him last night. in my dream we were all in groups, and he was the one person i HAD TO get along with. i had to work at getting along with him... isnt it strange dreams like that...


mm... perhaps should be writing my essay. i feel so lazy and dont want to do it...

10:14 am | Permalink