Softer to me
so i'm back from perth. there was a strike at perth airport yesterday afternoon/evening where the qantas baggage handlers wouldnt work, and, even though i was flying jetstar, it still affected my flight. so i got into avalon (about an hour and a half from my house) at 2am, rather than the flight time of 10:40pm.
my trip to perth was wonderful. brilliant, and just happy. i loved just being able to hang out with steve. to see him every day. to look at him and talk with him. to spend time with him, being friends and doing coupley things. even just sitting watching tv together was wonderful, because its something we never get to do.
hanging out with other friends was good too. the WA gush meet up was fairly alright. putting faces to names, and personalities to faces. plus swimming was fun too. spent a day with my friend Tracey, who i was staying with, on the monday (the 5th), then out to a nice dinner and walk along the beach with steve.
and now, im trying hard not to be sad, or emo. and i don't want to fear any more. i don't want it to control me.
i dont like doing new things, to go out of my comfort zone. i bought a book by joyce meyer and it just reminded me to do things afraid. to bring all things to God in prayer. to cast my worries/fears/anxieties onto Him, cause He loves me.
i think, what i really need/want is a job. he he, i dont even really want to go back to uni. i will, because i have nothing else to do. but, i think that, if i were braver, i would just get a job, and then maybe do a tafe course in something im interested in. or a short course.
so i'm really praying that God will provide me with a job, and that i will be brave enough to do something about it. i need to improve my resume and write a cover letter.
i drove for the first time in a manual in perth. in steves pretty little sports car! steve is a good teacher, patient, encouraging, and he continued to challange me. hopefully, i will continue to keep driving. though dad isn't the best teacher, and its hard enough motivating myself, than it is to motivate him as well. you all have permission to keep bugging me about this.
my youth allowance is still cut, and im not entirely sure if i will actually qualify for YA this year. dad sold the investment house he and mum bought about 15 years ago, so, even though he earnt even less than he did last year, that income from the house increased it to (i think) over the eligeble YA thingy.
which, if i get a job (my other job ends... oh, this week :)), and i dont have YA, will give me a large incentive to quit uni. why keep on racking up my HECS debt on a course i'm not 100% sure i'm going to finish, or that i don't 100% enjoy.
i think talking about these things helps. it helps motivate me. while i don't like (read: fear) doing new things, i can handle them when i have someone with me, doing it with me, or encouraging me, or supporting me.
he he, i guess i have to remember that God is always with me... its just a lot easier when its someone flesh.
(Relient K song title)
