The great romance

i spent most of yesterday in bed. slept for a while, finished off two books, and messaged friends.

after finishing the last book (white. ted dekker).. i.. i wrote this in a letter to a friend.

"its 11:34 pm, and i just finished my other book. the end was happy. the hero got his true love and glod blossed them, happily and joyus over their union. their happy love has made me happy and wanting of love. i feel close and comforted by God. i know when i wake this lovey feeling will go, but right now my heart is warm and full. i want to dance with joy and sing praises, or better, i want to sit and weep my worship before him. the tears are already streaming down my face, but they are tears of joy and releif and love.
i feel god. i know it shouldnt be about a feeling, but i have this hope, this faith that everything will be ok, becuase god loves me. and thats the best thing i could ever hope for. this life will flash past, but i will spend eternity with him, in his presence. what more could you want? to do what the writer of ecclesiastes says, 'fear god, and keep his commandments'.

i feel like taking a risk, professing my love and letting the worl revel in my joy. in his joy. i feel like taking that leap of love. and yet i wont. not yet. i am only on the start of my journey. love is more than a feeling, its a commitment. let me learn to be a better friend, and a better follower of god then i will leap into romantic love. i need patience, i need to grow, i need to find someone (ok, god needs to bring him into my life) who will pursue me and win my love. for thats the great romance.
God loves us, and pursues us. we are his bride, and he has sacrificed everything for us!"

and look, it is morning, and the feeling has gone. glad i wrote it all down.

9:48 am | Permalink