Rambleings.

its weird when your dreams feel weird.

in fact, i just plain feel weird.

i woke up, fully woke up, and i had tears streaming down my face. and and i dont know why.

for some reason some part of me.. is releived.

i feel close to God, which hasnt happened for a long time. and really, i dont know why its happening now.

isaiah 17 popped into my mind, and as i read through it (its an oracle against damascus, i think) nothing really stood out.
except this bit

10 You have forgotten God your Savior;

you have not remembered the Rock, your fortress.

Therefore, though you set out the finest plants

and plant imported vines,

11 though on the day you set them out, you make them grow,

and on the morning when you plant them, you bring them to bud,

yet the harvest will be as nothing

in the day of disease and incurable pain.

I dont even know what that means, but... but i sort of do.

i was at afternoon tea yesterday with bec (and the exam wasnt that bad. i hope i havent failed. i was tired though. i didnt sleep well the night before) and.. and i was so blase about my faith. ha, what faith.
she said something (in response to something i said) which made me think.

oh, i dont even know what im talking about.




when i was younger, i was afraid of being kissed. i thought to myself, that if i could just get kissed everything would be alright, and i would be able to do more stuff with guys.
well, i have, and i have, and its not that good.
sometimes i feel so used. even worse when i bring it on myself.
thats what my dream was about.

10:07 am | Permalink