procrastinating the past two days...

a sleep less night.

locked myself in the study when i decided to go to bed, and created an art work full of the emotions i was feeling. i might upload it eventually, but right now, it is too personal. written in the middle is a page of my journal, me pouring my heart out.
written overtop in thick, bright, red paint is a prayer to God, that mimicks one of the prayers of David.
i lay in bed, and couldnt sleep. thoughts going everywhere.
i realised i really missed not having someone to call at any hour of the night to tell all my problems to. to gain comfort, and words of wisdom. to have someone to share this with me.
instead i just lay in bed, letting tears go down my cheeks.
finally, i couldnt stand it any longer, and i read.
i read to escape from my own reality, and to be immersed into someone elses.
it worked, and i could sleep.

woke feeling tired.
this complete lack of motivation for this essay still remains, even though its due, umm, tomorrow...


i want to be creative.
i want to be an artist.
i want the freedom to just be who i am, who i want to become.


im in a fairly happy mood really. this shy grin keeps surfacing, and i cant still it, and i dont think i would want to.
it is windy.
i love the wind.
i love autumn in general.

perfect weather for going for a walk in amoungst the trees.
perfect weather for enjoying life.

even if i do have an essay i havent started...

3:26 pm | Permalink