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Tuesday, March 06, 2007
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a quick post on life.
i am sick and stressed.
centrelink cancelled my Youth Allowance, since september last year.
i assume i'll have to pay it all back (about $1800 worth), though when my sister rang up they said they were 'looking into it'.
that just makes me feel even more sick and stressed.
all the bad posibilities come to mind. (criminal record, court, jail, plus the very real option of not having enough money to pay them back. i have about $1300 in the bank. my car savings fund.)
i need a job now, purely for the money. and i'm getting desperate.
however, this stress and anxiety is only making me less motivated and less confident and more and more wanting to run and hide.
i'm wondering if i have done something terrible that God is punishing me for.
thats probably the wrong was to look at it.
if you could keep me in your prayers that would be wonderful. some how i have to trust him through this.
i feel like the psalmist in psalm 3
"hear my cry o God. hear me in my distress. do not turn a deaf ear to my plea".
I read that psalm today!
And, no, Sam, God is not punishing you. That is not what God's character is. Don't let the enemy fill your head with any of that kind of lies like that, because you are His forgiven child!
I just thought I'd also add that God won't put you through anything you can't handle.
It will all be ok. Have faith, persevere, pray.
I am keeping you in my prayers!
(and I doubt anything too big will happen, ie jail or a criminal record)
Salutations, Sam -- I'm so sorry to see you sick and stressed. Such situations are certainly saddening, but the Savior says he will ever support you. I'll sit in solemn silence at your side if that will serve to salve your troubled soul (or supposing your surroundings are too somber as they stand, I shall be silly and surprising, 'til you take a shot at smiling).
More seriously, Scripture is the safest haven, and of Scripture we have a splendid supply. May the sacred sentences settle your spirit:
"I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans to prosper you and not to harm you." (Jer. 29:11)
Even if you were wayward, God would treat you with the gentlest mercy and the sweetest love. He'll pull you up out of terrible pits and into inexpressible joy. Sammy is right, you're his forgiven child. =)
(It's still usually a good idea to inspect your life, but not because you expect you'll get whacked if you don't ^_^).
But it's easy to worry that kind of think when the situation starts getting out of hand. You probably feel like the disciples in the storm, when Jesus was sleeping in the boat.
I'll pray for you. It's gonna be okay. =)
