Never Take Friendship Personal
"a friend is someone with whom you have something in common with".
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i love the late afternoon sunshine in these cooler months. everything gets bathed in clear golden light. makes a beautiful contrast with the green grass or crisp sky, or the bare trees. i love autumn...
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i have come to the conclusion that a blog is a terrible way of seeing what your friends are up to. it is a silly communication tool, and if used like this, is simply an online diary.
friendships do not get maintained through weblogs. though, i guess myspace is trying to change that. (myspace sucks).
these blogs are simply a way for you, the reader, to know what is in my, the writers, mind.
what happened to when that was asked in a conversation...
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i guess i have been mulling over in my head, what friendship actually is. and who i would actually call my friends now. different to a year, 6 months, even 3 months ago.
i now have good friends, who i trust and respect and love to chat to/hang out with, who only used to be acquaintances. and i now have acquaintances who used to be pretty good friends.
there are some of my old friends who i don't really trust with my personal details and problems any more, simply because i don't think they care.
caring and interest are important to me. as is trust.
there are people who i wouldn't have told personal things to before, that now i look forward to those conversations with them simply because i know and respect their opinions, and their help.
its strange how the cycle works. or maybe that's only in my own head. this friend stops being my friend, becomes a good friend with that friend who was a good friend with that new good friend of mine.
i have had to learn to let go, of the friendships, the hurts, the silliness.
"sometimes its hard to tell my head that my heart isn't always right".
letting go is a part of life. and its a very good, freeing feeling.
in some ways i look forward to the future. i wonder if those people who i am friends with now will still be friends with me when i grow up, get married, have kids. i sometimes wonder if they will get called "aunty" or "uncle" simply because they are one of my good old friends.
i guess only time will tell...
(anberlin)
(wow, the above post doesn't really make sense...)
