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Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Critical Incidents Time Line part 1
Warning! its long...Colour key
Yellow – A happy time.
Blue – A sad time.
Red – A terrible time, when something really bad has happened.
Green – A God moment. When I have acknowledged God, listened to Him, or when I have directly disobeyed Him. A cross road in my faith life.
Purple – Some one who has helped me in my life, or is still helping me. Mostly relating to where life is with God, or the gifts God has given me.
Orange – Trusting God with my future, mostly relating to the end of year 12.
Brown – A neutral time.My Birth
I was born into this world as Samantha Jade Witteveen on December the 4th, 1987. I was born in Leigh Creek Area Hospital weighing 4.4 kilo’s (or 9.12 pounds) and was 57 cm long.
I was baptised at the Box Hill Reformed Church on the 31st of January, 1988.
My Childhood
I grew up in Leigh Creek, 7 hours north of Adelaide, 3 hours from the nearest town. A coal mining community.
I thoroughly enjoyed growing up in the “bush”. I just remember being really happy in my childhood.
Childhood Friends
My childhood had many friends in it, both male and female. I suppose, looking back, I was popular, but as a child you don’t categorise yourself like that.
I had several close friends, Carmen, Alison, Kristy Lee and Annie, but unfortunately they didn’t all get along with each other.
There was a girl at school called Amanda. No one liked her, and we usually teased her. I remember trying to befriend her and mediate between her and another one of my friends. I didn’t like the fact that she was left out. This is something that has continued through out my life.
Mum Left
The end of my childhood. I was ten years old. My mum had an affair and left my dad for the other man. They are still together. April and I stayed with dad.
Leaving Leigh Creek
Goodbye to my happy life. Goodbye to all my friends. Goodbye to my mum. Sadness engulfed me at this time, but I was numb. I had no tears left. We moved to Adelaide.
April
The only sister I have, or really, would want to have. Through mum leaving we grew closer together.
Later in my life (from 12 years old onwards) she was one who really inspired me to be a better Christian. Even now I still look up to her, respect her opinions and love her dearly.
Adelaide
A not very happy time in my life. I was struggling with getting used to not having a mother around, struggling with having to grow up, and struggling with a new school and all that goes with that.
I went from being in year 5 in Leigh Creek, to being in year 6 in Adelaide.
Adelaide Friends
The girls in my class used to tease and torment me, but I still wanted them to like me and so would do things to try to make them like me. All I wanted to do was be accepted by them and liked by them. A lot of tears were shed over the 9 months I was in Adelaide.
I got in with the wrong bunch of girls there, resulting in me lying, cheating and stealing.
Melissa
Some one whom I look back on and think of God. She was one of the only people who accepted me for who I was. I think that she was the one who got me through year 6 relatively sane.
Year 6 Horse Camp
This is where I start to stand up to my “friends”. Over the camp I remember starting to understand who God was, only a little bit, but more than I had before. My life is slowly starting to head into a more happy direction.
Leave Adelaide, Move to Melbourne
Melbourne meant more work for my dad, and where dad’s family was. I didn’t realise it, but at the time, we needed a lot of family support.
Here I started at mount Evelyn Christian school, bought a house in mount Evelyn and started attending church there too.
I wasn’t sad about leaving Adelaide, except maybe because it was taking me further away from mum.
Family Conflict
At this point in life we had a lot of conflict in our family. A lot of miscommunication. A lot of shouting and testing boundaries. A lot of crying. I start to think dark thoughts. I still lie and steal and cheat.
Realisation
After a fight between dad and April, when I was about 11 or 12, I remember being in my room, crying, listening to music, kneeling next to my bed and praying. I had never really prayed to God before, or, atleast not like this. I remember that I didn’t want to go to hell. I guess you could call this when I first became a Christian, when I asked Jesus into my heart. Unfortunately it didn’t change much of my life actions.
Jess
We meet in year 7 and became best friends. Throughout our friendship we have fought too many times to count, broken up twice, seen countless movies, cried ‘til we laughed and laughed ‘til we have cried. In amongst all the happiness is a lot of dark secrets, built up, broken then built up again trust, and a lot of pain. We know everything about each other, each others secrets, and hopes and desires.
To describe jess in three words, funny, impulsive and talkative.
Year 7 Camp
We went to the cathedral ranges for our camp, and on an orienteering exercise I got off track and was confronted with a beautiful vision of a ferny glade sitting at the bottom of two hills, in a pine forest.
I credited it to God. still now I see God in creation, or, at least, can credit it to him.
School Friends / Year 8 Camp
At year 8 camp I didn’t want a Emily to be alone. One of the least liked people in our year I decided to befriend her and tent with her, mainly because I didn’t want her to feel left out.
School friends made my life happier, having friends of all ages and both genders. Most of the friendships I made continued through middle school, and into senior school, where they grew closer.
Get Teased at School
For many reasons, mainly my voice and loudness and friendship with Jess, I got teased during middle school, and even a little into senior school. However by the end of it I had gotten used to it and I didn’t want to cry any more about it. my protective wall grew.
Middle School
Nothing overly notable about middle school that I haven’t already mentioned. I was a good student, not brilliant but not bad. I enjoyed my classes and was friendly with the teachers. I often talked too much and didn’t try hard enough.
Cycle A production (Pachyderm) when I was in year 7 was fantastic, and so was my year 9 city camp.
Visit Mum in Leigh Creek
During our time in Melbourne we had visited mum several times, but these had all been in Adelaide. So in year 9 April and I went up to Leigh Creek. It was weird seeing how much my old friends had changed, and how much I had changed. I was used to city/ suburbia life and so a little outback town was small. However the memories I still held of happiness continued, until I got the chicken pox and our time was up.
Drawing
From year 9 onwards I really start to get an interest in drawing. It is in year 10 that I really start to get obsessed with a Japanese anime/manga called Sailor Moon. And it is thanks to that that I still draw today.
Centre Trip
What a fantastic time in my life! I remember centre trip with a lot of happy memories. It was wonderful getting to know everyone a whole lot better. Travelling for 18 days with 60ish other people to the red centre, visiting an aboriginal community and then Uluru was defiantly a highlight of my senior schooling life. Good times and God seeing.
Jess Wyngaard
A casual friend at school I always viewed her as the ‘Christian one’, but not in a bad way. It is thanks to her that I have formed a lot of my opinions about dating and the like. Thanks to her never ending supply of Christian books and tapes, and the life example that she lived I was really encouraged to be, both a better person, and a better Christian. I don’t think that I ever really thanked her for that.
Sharon Payze
My favourite teacher in the senior school. She was so warm, so friendly, great to talk to, wise and thoughtful. She encouraged me, both in class, and in her life to think about what my understanding of Christianity was. She was my devotions leader in year 12 and is another person who I am really grateful to.
Start of Year 12/ Hillsong 2004
At the start of year 12 I was sick of being the good girl so I started to rebel. Not being an overly rebellious person in appearance or actions it was my faith which began to suffer. I was walking away from God and I didn’t realise it, or care. Hillsong that year changed everything. I felt Gods presence, and him asking me for a greater commitment, particularly relating to doing my Profession of Faith. I realised what I had been doing and so I turned around and began to return back to him, even if it was slowly.
Elfwood
An online community for fantasy and sci fi artists and writers. I joined late 2003 and really enjoyed being part of an international community with a particular focus.
From Elfwood I have gained two special friendships. Oskar, who lives in Mexico, and I have great discussions about guys (him being gay), about society and its constraints on people. Margot lives in Holland and we have many great debates about religion and God and homework!
End of Year 12
Finally my schooling life is over. The end of year exams weren’t too bad, but studying for them was. Graduation was excellent, saying goodbye was sad. It was scary not knowing what to do next, and leaving the security and comfort of school.
Getting Results
For the majority of year 12 I wanted to become a teacher (I now realise what a bad teacher I would have made!) and so when I got my results I was deeply disappointed and those dreams were shattered. I didn’t cry.
However, getting my results did open up some avenues that I hadn’t thought about before. (*cough cough* YITS *cough cough*)
What to do Next?
I guess I didn’t really sit down and ask God what he wanted me to do with this year, but somehow the thought of doing YITS came into my mind and it just seemed right. So, I asked my dad if I could do it, and he said yes.
YITS
The time between mid December and mid February seemed like an eternity. I learn that two of my school friends were going to be doing it (Jess W and Bec) but I already knew that, because they had been the ones talking about it all year 12.
Going to start of year camp was a very nervous time for me, I was excited and happy and just wanted to get to know everyone. The new part of my life was going to get started.
Through out this year I have really felt that I have not been walking slowly to God anymore. I have been running to God. I have felt my faith grow and develop and I have loved being part of the community that goes with YITS.
YITS Friends
So many wonderful people travelling this journey with me for such a short time, and I travelling with them. The acceptance and love I feel is truly wonderful.
My accountability group have been helpful in my own struggles with opening up and pretending that everything is ok. We are four very different people, but yet we all have a deep love for God which unites us.
I deeply love all of my friends at YITS, that is, everyone.
Hearing God Speak to Me
Though not audibly.
For a long time I was in so much doubt as to whether God was talking to me, could or would. Or if the things I thought he was saying were just some funny voices in my head telling me what I wanted to hear.
But one day, feeling very upset by one of my friends and feeling very insecure about my friendships, I was reading a book, though not very well. Through my teary eyes only three words stood out to me, “am I enough?” somehow this was the sign I had been asking God for if it was really him. I am continually trying to trust that it is in fact God who is speaking, but its still not easy.
Profession of Faith
This was the public fulfilment of the step that God had asked me to do the year before at Hillsong.
To me it was publicly committing myself to God, and to my church community, until God calls me elsewhere.
Dave
One who encourages me to further develop my artistic talent. He is also one who I have late night MSN conversations with about anything and everything, and is someone who I feel comfortable talking with.
Mid Year Holidays
These consisted of a lot of bad choices on my behalf, in friendships and with guys. The result was me being taken further away from God than I wanted to be. I was still struggling with my good girl image, and the desire to be loved.
This subject is still painful, and God and I are working through it. God gently called me back to him with a lot of tears, and I have grown closer to him in this.
Mid Year Camp
So many different things happened this camp, but the main word to describe it would be community. Ash Wednesday (as it’s affectionately called) consisted of a lot of pain and sadness but somehow God was there. It was somewhere where I could be open and honest and be accepted. Real community.
Youth Ministry / Warwick Vincent
My favourite subject this semester, if only for the stories that Warwick tells us each week about trusting God. This class and Warwick are real encouragements to me in my own walk and journey with God, to be more trusting and to believe in God outside of my own ‘fish tank’.
And it was because of creative living that I now love butterflies.
Where to Next?
My future, where does it lead? My struggles of trusting God and surrendering all to him are still very present. What does God want me to do next year and in the years to come?
